Home of DJ and technophile Jonathan Puddle (aka J Puddy)
Archive for March, 2004
That sneaky Sneak
07 years ago
Congratulations Jeremy Wright on duping the world.
Just the other day I did what I deemed to be a devious deed (other than cheezy alliteration.) During lunch in the Cafe at work I was sitting on my own, and I had a nice cold Coca Cola sitting in front of me. I decided that if someone was to come by, and was in a silly mood, it’s quite likely they may shake up my nice cold Coca Cola, as a little trick.
So I got tricky myself. I opened the can as much as I could, without making it look open, and then I left it sitting there. My good friend Andrew came along and so like any good friend I antagonized him. He thought he was very clever, grabbing my nice cold Coca Cola and shaking it, until it spurted out all over the place, giving him quite a surprise.
I deemed this the most devious thing I had done all day. I deem Jeremy’s hacking of his own site, the most devious thing ever. Since… Tuesday, when Andrew got Coke on himself.
I think the only thing that could top Jeremy’s little prank would be if someone actually did hack Ensight. Hmm… where are those Russian Madmans?
The Saga Continues…
07 years ago
by Jonathan Puddle
in Work
So today I finished fixing the sledgehammer. So today I finished exacting my revenge on the desk. I have not finished destroying it, but my revenge is complete.
Desk, if you ever, EVER mess with me again… “I’m gonna git medieval on your ass.” – Marcellus Wallace, Pulp Fiction.
Hacked my face?
07 years ago
by Jonathan Puddle
in Uncategorized
Terrible news for the world – Ensight.org has been hacked! I hope things aren’t too messy Jeremy.
I suspect retribution will be swift and painful. But yeah, come on hacker dudes, if you can be clever enough to hack Ensight, then try and make some cleverer slogans. “We hacked your face”? Great… that’s really great guys.
Who crucified Jesus?
27 years ago
by Jonathan Puddle
in Personal
Something for the frustrations category.
With The Passion of the Christ being such a big deal lately, I’m sure you heard all the arguments and debates before the film came out. Anti-Semitic this and that. I totally respect that, but not this part :
“The Passion of the Christ makes it look like the Jews crucified Jesus.”
Firstly, arguably, the Jews DID crucify Jesus. Sure the dudes who hammered those nails into his beautiful hands were Romans, but they didn’t just do it because they figured it would be a good idea – they did it because the Jewish council made them do so. So there.
Secondly, lastly, and more importantly, Jesus needed to die! If Jesus had not died, for whatever reason (and subsequently not raised from the dead), then the world would be terrible beyond comprehension. For one thing, we would all still be living under the Law, which as we know brings death and not life. We couldn’t inherit eternal life. We wouldn’t all have received the authority to cast out demons and heal people. The list goes on.
So please, if anything, take credit.
“Thank you, Jewish Council, for killing Jesus.” – Jonathan Puddle, 2004.
Disclaimer – I understand there are many reasons for Jews to shy away from the “Yes, we killed Jesus” movement – mostly because of Christians who persecuted them for it. For whatever part is mine, I am truly sorry. But not all Christians are that way, and no Christians should be that way. Also, don’t think I am insensitive to Christ’s suffering. I’ve seen The Passion twice, enough said.
Enjoy.
Backpain
07 years ago
by Jonathan Puddle
in Work
Today I got to work on repairing the sledgehammer I broke last week. Last week I referred to is as a mallet, and not until Shannon suggested that I use a sledge hammer, did I realize the spelling mistake. To be honest, I knew mallet was wrong, but I just thought I was spelling it wrong.
Anyway… I sawed the shattered end of the handle and then circumcised the end of it using a grinder, so as it would fit into the sledgehammer head. Once it looked to be of a decent fit, I started hammering it in. Only problem is that the mallet we do have is has a rubber head, and is therefore useless for such a job, and the hammer doesn’t weigh enough to drive to wood in.
Clearly the sledgehammer would be the ideal took for the job, but more clearly that wouldn’t work for fundamental reasons. So, I had to use a large concrete cinderblock to hammer the handle in. Trouble is, the handle is now half a foot shorter than standard, so I can’t stand straight up to hammer in the handle – I have to hold the head between my feet and then with bent knees and back smash the big concrete brick down onto it.
It’s one of the most frustrating things I’ve ever had to do. Other than use my buddy’s Mac.
“Poetry”
07 years ago
by Jonathan Puddle
in Uncategorized
In browsing the Blogotron (I REFUSE to use the “sphere” word) I came across this little… gem? Something amusing anyway. It’s a blog full of poetry created using the subject lines from SPAM e-mail. Interesting theory, it’s actually pretty funky. I enjoyed this one especially.
Secret thoughts
07 years ago
by Jonathan Puddle
in Personal
I wonder who invented secrets. Like imagine if up till a certain point everything anyone ever did was public knowledge, until all of a sudden one guy figured out, “Woah… hold on a second. Why don’t I just NOT tell you what I’m thinking/planning/etc.”
For good or ill, that guy started a revolution!
God thoughts
07 years ago
It occurred to me during church today that God, for a huge number of reasons, is very very good to us. To be accurate, that occurred to me a few years ago, but a few more examples of his goodness came to me.
Such as… God does not get technical with our language when we pray. Example… This morning Pastor Duncan was praying for a guy who’d had back pain for years, and it had made him walk stiffly. So Duncan was praying over him, “Loose! Loose!” and stuff like that. All of a sudden I thought, “Hehe, what if God didn’t understand what Duncan was referring to, and the dude’s bowel’s got loosened instead.” Hahaha… what a terrible thing to happen. Of course God in his infinite wisdom knows what Duncan was talking about, and so He doesn’t care when our the subject of our prayers may have become vague. What a good God!
Secondly… in the same vein, I heard someone else praying today. “Father, I just ask that you would just come into this place and just fill us with your presence, that we would just love you more and that all our distractions would just leave. We just ask you this in the name of Jesus. Amen.”
Imagine for a moment that God only ever did what we asked him to. Haha, oh man. I’d be like, “God, could you please heal my eyes?” and He would reply, “I’m sorry, I can’t. So and so asked me if I could JUST take away distractions … so unfortunately I’m stuck. If you get in faster next time…”
Haha… yeah. Further reason God rocks.
I’ll never look at corn the same way…
07 years ago
I went to see Secret Window last night. Hehe… pretty intense. I enjoyed it thoroughly, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat corn without thinking strange thoughts. See the movie, you’ll understand.
Seriously though, highly recommended. Johnny Depp is totally believable, John Turturro was excellent. The writing was also pretty good. Reminded me a little of Fight Club, but it’s nothing like it really.
Fair-welled Bethany today as well – she’s off on a trip to China for 2 weeks. Very cool stuff.
To be honest, I haven’t had such a chilaxy weekend in ages. It’s a nice feeling to just hang around and not have to do anything… except go to Kenny’s tonight. Happy Birthday Kenny.
Smith and Wesson
07 years ago
Hehehe… I love this. I’ll probably get in trouble with someone, but it’s pretty hilarious.
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